Chapter 17 — The Ex-Fiancée and Knight Order Affairs

Part 1 — Exile, Then Saving the Nation

Discord: https://discord.com/invite/asmotoon

“Sigh…”

So boring.

When they told me I was pregnant I practically hopped with joy. Finally, I thought, I could dream of a life with the man I loved. That thrill lasted all of three days before the lectures began. Don’t strain yourself. No, do exercise. Watch your nutrition. No tea. No alcohol. Don’t cool down. Don’t catch the night breeze.

It’s infuriating.

Speaking of irritating, I wonder how that poor man is doing.

Warrena. Dull as dirt.

He couldn’t flatter to save his life. All armored discipline and zero charm. Sure, the body was solid and the face passable. When they first recommended him as my fiancé I didn’t hate the idea. Then he’d drone on about other women. Who enjoys that?

Losing his title and rank because I got pregnant was a tad pitiful. But the fact I don’t have to marry him—better yet, I get to marry Patrick—makes up for everything. I even got to give my pure body to the man I adore. Two birds, one stone.

Meeting Patrick was divine fate. It must be.

He’s kind. He actually listens to me. He says things like “you’re amazing” and “you’re so sweet,” tells me I’m adorable. He understands me, he’s a gentleman, his escort is flawless, his dancing impeccable. Comparing him to that tongue-tied lump is insulting. Falling for him was inevitable. The first time his hand cupped my cheek I knew I belonged with him.

***

“Sigh…”

I jerked back to the present. My teacup was empty. A glance at the wall showed my maids gossiping. I opened my mouth and they scurried over.

“Apologies, Lady Tarin.”

“It’s fine. I’d like more tea.”

They wheeled a cart over. Whatever this brew was, it tasted nothing like the fragrant leaves I used to enjoy. Just hot liquid to wet my throat.

How long has it been since I last saw Patrick? Before the pregnancy we met almost daily. Now he says visiting would endanger the baby. No appearances until right before the wedding.

Some courtiers apparently resent my condition too. The maids whisper about a certain court count dressing him down. Probably some friend of that war-obsessed brute. Can they really afford to antagonize the father of the future heir?

What matters is Patrick. With the war freak gone I thought our sweet life would begin.

Instead I hear he keeps multiple women happy. Not surprising with that face. Today he’s “working on state documents” in his chambers with a young female clerk. Hopefully they aren’t crafting anything else. Yesterday it was a viscount’s daughter, before that a lady knight from the guard. I don’t begrudge him vigor, but show some restraint.

We’re officially engaged, yet his behavior hasn’t changed. A future royal should act better. What if he impregnates someone else?

He is a court count. He knows how to stay on top. Still…

I’ll rot thinking about this.

“I want to go outside,” I muttered.

“Yes, well,” a maid replied. “We know you’re restless, but the physicians insist you stay indoors during these delicate weeks.”

Parrot.

“Yes, yes. I know,” I sighed. “Just saying.”

“Only another month until things stabilize,” she chirped. “Please bear with it.”

Bear with it?

I bore that war freak. I finally got what I wanted—Patrick. So why am I still the one enduring?

“Why did I even get pregnant…?”

“My lady?”

“Nothing,” I said. “Talking to myself.”

It’s supposed to be happy news. So why does my heart feel so heavy?

How long do I have to keep paying this price?

***

“That concludes my report, Commander.”

“Thanks.”

“What about the summons to the guardian dragon?”

“Delivered.”

“Right…”

“Something wrong?” she asked.

“You think this is right? Me, commander?” I sighed.

My deputy rolled her eyes. “Again? Warrena’s gone, Gil. He’s not coming back. You’re in charge now. Deal with it.”

“Yeah. Thanks. You can go.”

“We’re still on for drinks tonight?”

“Sure. I’ll finish up.”

“Please do.” She kissed my cheek.

“East gate, remember,” she called as she left. Once the door shut I slumped into the chair.

“Sigh…”

How many today?

North Hawk Knight Commander, huh. Gilbert, the great leader. Disaster.

Why? Because the order’s combat strength tanked. Losing both the commander and the mage corps vice-captain hurt. Badly.

What were the nobles thinking firing him? Over his fiancée’s affair?!

His tactics were art. He led from the front, cleaving through enemies, inspiring every soldier while protecting us. I envied and adored him. If that’s called love, so be it.

And the mage corps—especially Ellie—was our backbone. Their combination made us unstoppable.

Now? The North Hawk Knight Order is a shadow. You can’t replace living legends.

“Why’d you leave, Ellie… Did it hurt that much to lose him…?”

I choked back the rest.

“Damn it. I wanted to be number two. I’m not built for the top. How did this happen…”

Because of Princess Tarin. Her wandering hips wrecked us.

Complaining changes nothing. Another barbarian campaign looms—and we’ll probably lose.

“…Maybe I should resign too.”

An empty wish. But I couldn’t swallow it.

----- End of chapter -----